there are a lot of things that could be filled in the above blank
so many ‘ing’ words. but largely in this past year and a half, they sort of vaporized. They were substituted with being stuck in a funk which kinda made anything that seemed fun way back when……………….early 2020 seem less inviting and joyful. I mean being consumed with staying alive pushed all those things into the background. Then this little spark of hope came via a pharmaceutical magic potion…a tiny little prick and a bandaid slapped over the spot covering the mark of entry.
Since then people are out and about more often. Cocktails are sipped in the company of more than two other people. Eating out INSIDE became a thing again. Concerts and theater- two of my favorite things started happening. ( I am eternally grateful for Eugene and Dan Levy for helping me get through some ‘very dark times’ during the period where nothing could happen- your genius made this period much more bearable- if ya know what I mean…- okay I confess I’m addicted to ‘the creek’ and still revisit more often than I should… anyway a hit of that here and there *ahem cough cough a few minutes a day* never hurt anyone) ) And so I took the plunge…boldly. I saw a musician playing guitar and singing to 20,000 of his closest ‘friends’ while telling them he was grateful for them coming out- especially on that night- the last of this particular tour he’d been on. He also mentioned one of his comrades/band members was being replaced for the evening’s performance as he’d tested positive the day prior. Without the missing guitarist, the evening went on. The band played…and played and played as though they didn’t want it to end. The crowd didn’t either. Yep 20,000+ mostly maskless people stood up- though they’d paid for actual seats- and danced and sang along and clapped and whoooo-ed and while it felt like a tiny miracle I -in the back of my mind was worried. Yes I had a good time, yes I also I thought- this is reckless- and yes when i got home I thought to myself ‘well THAT was fun…now all I gotta do now is not get sick and die.” (side note- I’m not the generally the hysterical worry-about-every-little-thing sort but y’know things are kinda different now)
It’s been well past two weeks- I since then have been tested just to have peace of mind- I’m okay.
And knowing that I can wholly say the evening was JOYFUL.
Now as we are on the cusp of a new year – this most recent Halloween my neighborhood was crawling with overly excited witches and pirates and mermaids and goblins and ghosts laughing and running about- a welcomed sight compared to the desolate and sad streets of last year’s 10/31. I’m now seeing people acting all holly and jolly- hanging out together-planning holiday family and friends gatherings and honestly even though I know logically this pandemic thing could spike at any time and we’ll all be back to cocooning in our funkdom- right now? Joy has to win….
because for the moment- it can.
Not in the new normal way but in the old normal way. Not crazily – little by little but…yea.
I have to trust in that. I have to believe that it’s alright in moderation.
I know there are those who have opted to not vax and if it’s okay with them it’s okay with me…I cannot presume to know how someone precisely feels or judge and battle them. In consideration of this- I AM doing the baby steps thing but one thing I can confidently presume..or actually be certain of..because I’ve witnessed it first hand- life can be short…sometimes too short…so now is the time to put joy back in my life. I have to do the things that make me feel happy..make me feel whole while I can. I know I never want to live with the regret of what I was able to do but didn’t. That would mean I chose to be always afraid and miserable over blissed.
And so- with that said- I’m going to verrrrrrryy carefully do the Thanksgiving family thing and the Christmas family thing- taking every possible precaution but not so much that it kills the gleefulness of these days with overtones of pandemicpandemicpandemic…. this year we are having us some F U N.
I hope you do too.
fill it with love and peace and happiness